


Mr. Nonrom Sansplat

by waitineedaname



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Aromantic Jake English, Gen, Identity Issues, Nonbinary Roxy Lalonde, Pale Romance | Moirallegiance, Rated T for the fuck word, they're in high school but it doesn't really come up, they're pale they just don't know it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-09
Updated: 2019-07-09
Packaged: 2020-06-25 14:06:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,170
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19747273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/waitineedaname/pseuds/waitineedaname
Summary: GT: I reassure you im fine!TG: uh huhGT: And even if i am “freakin out” you dont need to worry about it! I can handle it myself.TG: mhmTG: hey random question r u the only one up at ur house rnTG: and follow up question will bec eat me if i climb up to ur windowGT: Erm yes i believe im the only one awake right now.GT: And i promise becquerel will not eat you.GT: Why?GT: Roxy are you planning to climb into my window?





	Mr. Nonrom Sansplat

**Author's Note:**

> aro jake is CANON and if the comic isn't going to give him the appreciation he deserves, then so help me god I will
> 
> shoutout to my friend dave on tumblr who got me thinking about pale jakeroxy and helped me spawn this

TG: yo jakey why tf r u up 

GT: Roxy! How did you know i was awake? 

TG: ur pesterchum says ur online 

GT: Oh blasts. I always forget about that confounded thing. 

TG: lol 

TG: but seriously dude whats up? 

GT: I could ask you the same thing my nocturnal pal! 

TG: if im nocturnal wouldnt that just asnwer the question?? 

TG: *answer 

GT: Damn. 

TG: lmao im just pullin ur leg 

TG: made the mistake of drinkin caffeine too late at night 

TG: all jittery rn 

TG: TGIF amirite 

GT: I suppose thats a valid excuse. 

TG: ya 

TG: so whats ur excuse 

TG: cuz i know u and i know ur usually only up this late if ur freakin out abt something 

GT: Oh. 

GT: I reassure you im fine! 

TG: uh huh 

GT: And even if i am “freakin out” you dont need to worry about it! I can handle it myself. 

TG: mhm 

TG: hey random question r u the only one up at ur house rn 

TG: and follow up question will bec eat me if i climb up to ur window 

GT: Erm yes i believe im the only one awake right now. 

GT: And i promise becquerel will not eat you. 

GT: Why? 

GT: Roxy are you planning to climb into my window? 

There was a soft knock at Jake’s window, and he let out a sharp “eep!” Roxy’s laugh was slightly muffled behind the glass, and he sent them a sour look that was more of a pout. Roxy mouthed “sorry” and gestured for him to open the window. Jake got up and let in his friend, who promptly tumbled out of the tree branch they were perched in and onto his carpet.

“Thanks, Jakey bear.” Roxy hopped to their feet, smiling.

“Well, I couldn’t just leave you out there, could I?” Jake returned the smile, though he had a feeling it turned out a bit weaker than he’d hoped. “You really didn’t have to come over, Rox. You didn’t walk, did you?”

“Nah, I drove, don’t worry!”

“You drove all the way here in the middle of the night?”

“Dude, you live like two miles away, I really coulda just walked. Besides, Mom is out of town, and Rose doesn’t give a fuck where I go. She says hi, by the way.”

“Ah. Send her my hellos as well.” Jake’s expression faltered and he walked back over to his bed to sit down. Roxy sat next to him, and he could feel himself being scrutinized. “My point still stands, though. You didn’t have to come.”

“I mean, yeah, I know I didn’t  _ have  _ to, but I wanted to. What’s wrong?” Jake looked vaguely constipated. Roxy sighed. “Seriously, dude, I know you’re not up just for shits and giggles.”

Jake sighed and laid his head back onto his pillows, giving in. “Oh, you know. The typical things. Why does anxiety always rear its nasty head in the middle of the night?”

“I dunno man, but it fucking sucks.” Roxy flopped backwards as well and reached for his hand, playing with his fingers. “What’re the anxiety gremlins tellin’ you now?”

Jake draped his arm over his face and tried to sort through his thoughts. After a few moments of silence, he rolled onto his side to face Roxy. “You liked Dirk, right?”

Roxy blinked. That wasn’t the direction they expected him to go in, clearly. “Uh, yeah? Probably my worst kept middle school secret, but yes, I had a lil baby crush on him.”

“And you like Jane.”

“Well, she's my girlfriend, so I definitely like her.” Roxy’s face twisted in bemusement. “Jake, what’re you asking here?”

“Just, hear me out.” Jake took a deep breath and turned his hand to hold Roxy’s hand fully, and they squeezed gently. “How did you know?”

“...How did I know I liked them?”

“Yes. How did you tell it apart from how you feel for friends and such?”

“Hm.” Roxy rolled onto their back, still holding Jake’s hand, and let out a puff of air. “That’s a tough question. I guess it’s like… wantin’ to be around someone a lot and wanting to do romancey stuff like go on dates and kiss and cuddle a whole bunch.”

“And that’s… different from how you feel about friends?”

“Yeah.” They nodded.

“But…” Jake worried his lip. “We hang around each other a lot. And- we don’t  _ cuddle _ , but we are holding hands. How’s that different?”

“I dunno, it just is. Trust me, you’d know if you were gettin’ the full Roxy cuddle treatment.” They sent him a wink, then frowned when he continued to look stressed and contemplative. “Wait, you’re not tryna lay hints that you like me, are you? ‘Cause like, Roxy of sixth grade would’ve been over the moon about that, but I’d have to talk to Janey if we were to ever work something out.”

“What? Oh, blimey, no!” Jake jerked his hand out of their grasp and scooted away. “Quite the opposite, really.”

“So you’re trying to tell me you  _ hate  _ me.” Roxy was clearly teasing, but Jake still panicked.

“No! I-”

“Jake, it’s okay.” They sat up and patted his cheek, smiling down at him. “I’m kidding, don’t worry. Tell me what’s makin’ you look like you’re having to shit a boulder.”

“It’s just…” Jake sighed. “I don’t think I’ve ever really had a crush.” Roxy tilted their head and prompted him to go on. “I mean, I love you all, you and Jane and Dirk, I’d do anything for you lot. And I love my sister, I love my grandparents, I love my dog… But I don’t think I can do that, you know, romantically.”

“So,” Roxy dropped back down to lay on their stomach, chin propped up, “You think you might be aromantic?”

“I- What?” Jake blinked at them owlishly.

“Y’know. Aromantic. When you don’t feel romantic attraction for people?”

“There’s… a word for it?”

“Oh my gosh, Jakey baby, of course there is!” 

“Oh.” He seemed stunned speechless. Roxy smiled and grabbed his hands, pulling him upright. 

“C’mon, I’m gonna make you some hot chocolate, and we can talk about this.”

Jake didn’t protest as they dragged him downstairs into his kitchen, voices hushed as to prevent waking Jade or his grandparents. Roxy set to heating some milk and sent him to rifle through the pantry to find a cocoa mix. 

“So,” Roxy prompted, “How you feelin’?”

“Better. I think.” Jake said slowly, passing them the cocoa. “It really does take a load off my chest to know I’m not the only bloke that feels this way. Lessens the likelihood of just having a broken brain, right?”

“Right.” Roxy nodded firmly. “If anyone tries to tell you that, lemme know and I’ll kick their ass.” Jake laughed softly. “I’m serious! I felt like that when I was tryin’ to figure out my gender, like ‘hm I dunno if I’m girling right’, and it made me feel like I was fucked up somehow, so I’ll be the first to say it’s a load of B.S.”

“Thank you, Rox. I really do appreciate it.” He leaned against the counter next to them, and they squeezed his shoulder affectionately. He watched them stir the spoon around and around in the hot chocolate, spreading the mixture evenly, and worried his lip. “...Say I am that thing you said. Aro-whatever-the-shits.”

“Aromantic.”

“Yes, that. Aromantic. Suppose that’s what I am. What do I… do with that?”

“Whatever you want, dude.” Roxy shrugged, going to find mugs. “You can come out, or it can be just between you ‘n me. You could interact with the aro community, or just have it be a private thing. You don’t really have to  _ do  _ anything with your orientation if you don’t want to.”

“No, but… What about my future?”

“Uh, what do you mean about your future?”

“You know…” He dragged a hand through his hair and avoided Roxy’s eyes as they poured the hot chocolate. “Adulthood’s supposed to be all about getting married and having kids and a dog and growing old with somebody. What do you do if that’s just not in the cards for you?”

Roxy frowned and slid him his mug, pulling themself up to sit on the countertop. “Well first of all, that’s not what adulthood is all about. Adulthood is just… I dunno, gettin’ older, I guess. A career that makes you happy. Personal responsibility and maturity or something. It doesn’t  _ have  _ to involve a spouse.”

“But that’s what they show in movies and TV and-”

“Oh, c’mon English, you’re smarter than that. You think you gotta base your life on how things work in movies?”

“I-” Jake faltered.

“Just think about all the things they don’t include in movies! When’s the last time you saw a nonbinary character in a blockbuster movie? Much less a black nonbinary character and their Chinese girlfriend?” Roxy said, gesturing at themself, then out into the air. “Movies miss out on all kinds of life! They really only show, y’know, cisheteronormative white stuff because that’s what sells and production companies are cowards.”

Jake shrank in on himself, wrapping his hands around the warm part of his mug. “I admit you seem to know more about this topic than I do-”

“Damn right I do.”

“But-!” He interrupted. “But, it just seems so nice! Having someone to care about you and keep you company? I can’t  _ imagine  _ getting married, it seems all too suffocating, and I know I’d be miserable, but then the alternative is  _ alone  _ and miserable.”

Roxy suddenly looked very sad. They reached over and tugged on his sleeve until he walked close enough for them to wrap their arm around him and pull him against their side. “Jake… You know that’s not true. You’re not gonna be alone.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, Rox, but I’d rather not be lied to.” He sniffled and rubbed at his eyes, feeling the waterworks approaching. “You and Janey will get married someday, if not to each other then to somebody else that you want to spend all your time with. Dirk will find some boyfriend to commit himself to, and you know how… single-minded he is in a relationship. I’m sure the same will happen for Jade. Someday, you’re all going to marry off and I’ll be left behind in the dust.”

“You really think we’d leave behind a friend like that?” Roxy said, petting his hair. Jake didn’t answer. “C’mon, look at me.” It took an immense amount of effort to pull his head up to look them in the eyes. Roxy cupped his cheek and gave him a tiny smile. “You’re one of my best friends in the whole goddamn universe. I’m gonna love whoever I marry, obvs, but they’re not gonna be able to match all the love I got in my heart for you. They’re not gonna be the doofus that kept me from slipping down a waterfall that one time and who knew exactly what to do when I accidentally walked through poison oak. They’re not gonna be the dude who’s way too good at puzzles and can quote every movie ever made forwards and backwards.” Jake was definitely crying at this point, but Roxy just brushed his tears aside and kept going. “I bet you if we texted Jane and Dirk right now, they’d say the same thing. If we went down to Jade’s room and woke her up and asked, she’d say that too and then sic Bec on us for waking her up at- fuck, oh my god, is it really two AM? Goddamn.” Roxy leaned down and pressed a kiss to his forehead as he shook a little from his tears. “We’re not gonna leave you, man. Your friends love you so fuckin’ much, it’s unbelievable, expect it’s actually super believable because you’re a really sweet dude. We’ve been through thick and thin, you’re not gonna be left alone just because somebody got married. Okay?”

He took a watery breath and nodded, wiping at his eyes. “You’re always far too good to me, Rox.”

“Mm, nope, you deserve all this goodness. And I’m gonna keep bein’ good to you until your dumb anxiety brain gets the memo that you deserve love.”

“I think you’re going to be doing that for a while, if that’s the case, I’m afraid.” He laughed thickly and leaned into their touch. “Thank you.”

“‘Course.” Roxy smiled and put their mug down to hug him fully. “You wanna go upstairs and watch movie bloopers until we pass out?”

“Yes.” He nodded firmly. “I think that’s an agreeable idea.”

Roxy hopped down from the counter and took his hand as they went back upstairs. With his best friend laughing at silly YouTube videos and showing all signs of wanting to be around him, Jake couldn’t help but feel a little more hope that things might not be as dismal as he worried, at least for now.

**Author's Note:**

> me, writing the two characters I relate to the most comforting each other: self care
> 
> come chat with me @waitineedaname on tumblr!


End file.
